So you're finally getting laid
Since we're on the topic of marriage, let's talk about sex. For you Christians sex is supposed to happen only within marriage (the unitive and the procreative, remember?), and since sex ed is not going to be happening in a school near you, you're going to get to your wedding night a hopelessly clueless virgin.
No longer. Mother Jones reports that all you need to know can be found at The Marriage Bed: Sex and Intimacy for Christians. To be honest, LHG is rather impressed. Among other things you'll find the most detailed description of male and female genitalia we've ever seen (the more prudish can choose the no-pictures option), an exhaustive discussion of types of birth control, tips on how to strip for your man, whether oral sex is really sex, what to do with a vibrator, do's and don'ts in relation to bondage, phone sex, adult nursing, role playing and all sorts of other useful information. The entries on "Sex for the Clueless Bride" and "Sex for the Clueless Groom" are not to be missed.
Our one complaint? Nothing on Catholic schoolgirl outfits.
posted by elivo at 5:12 PM
7 Comments:
That is both really funny and sad at the same time. Thanks for sharing it.
... more power to the authors of this book. I'm for anything that promotes sexual enjoyment.
I am a little blown away by the obvious naiveness & innocence of some of the readers.
thats probably because catholic school girls might be too sinful to even mention them...
thats probably because catholic school girls might be too sinful to even mention them...
catholic school girls? hey, that's illegal, we said outfits!
It just goes to show you... there's a book and a TV show for everything.
I wonder why they didn't call it "the idiot's guide to good christian sex"?
you could role-play that you were married to a catholic school girl.
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